My Husband

In the Name of the Most High

I’ve been reflecting a lot on the qualities that my husband has that I completely take for granted.  Sometimes it helps to write these thoughts down because when someone is so subtle in their grace and humanity, it is easy to ignore their every day heroism.  I don’t want to just list off his good qualities because I know I’d forget to acknowledge too many.  I’ve never had to worry about my husband thinking about other women, being scared of commitment, or running from responsibilities in life.  When we have had very little in our lives (financially speaking), he completely cuts from himself and buys me gifts so I don’t get too worried about our situation.

I think the most remarkable thing is that when people see him, they are not really impressed.  He is mostly quiet, doesn’t give his opinion too freely, and lacks charisma that women find so charming.  I don’t think people generally find him that interesting, and he isn’t much of a philosopher.

There is some sort of saying in America that nice guys never win.  I don’t know if they mean nice so much as they mean “nice/simple/sensitive”… and it’s strange to me that women complain that there are no good guys left in the world when I really believe they are just ignoring all the really good men. The way we have defined gender roles, at least in America, makes me shudder.  I sometimes don’t blame people who say they want a more gender neutral society, not because I agree with them, but because our female and male identities have dissipated and are replaced with senseless ideals that neither men nor women should strive for.  It’s no wonder that men are leaving their responsibilities in search of “freedom”and women feel pressure to dive into their career at the expense of raising their children in a healthy way.

I don’t want to get TOO much into gender in America… I think there is way too much to cover.  My main point is that a lot of times, these gender roles have confused people about what qualities to look for in the opposite sex.

My husband has never commented about the appearance of another woman.  He has never whined about his situation or yearned for something he didn’t have.  He can not lie to people, even if his honesty will get him into trouble.  He is never wasteful, and will always give me the best thing to eat/drink/use, while he finishes the leftovers so that it doesn’t go to waste.  He will always make himself useful and never sits around waiting to be served, particularly when traveling/camping/etc.  He will always sacrifice his own needs to give to his family.  He hasn’t taken a vacation in years nor has he himself lived particularly comfortably, but I have never heard him complain.  He has never asked me to do anything that I am not comfortable with.  He doesn’t restrict me on baseless things but does have a certain degree of protection over me that I feel secure with.  I have never seen him act less than chivalrous with every woman he has ever met.

And I could go on.  So this post has been a tribute to my husband… and all the other unnamed heroes who are defining real manhood for me over and over again.  Thank you for opening my eyes.

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